In this episode of Live On Purpose Radio, Dr. Paul is joined by Tim Esau, a management and business consultant. One of the topics in this interview is about feedback – the information we receive about ourselves from others. Feedback is neither positive nor negative, but is just information that can be useful to us in making course corrections. This is true in business, relationships, finances, and any other area of life.
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Dr. Paul… not that it really matters… I was just checking the date on your May calendar and was wondering because either my calendar is off, or yours is??? I doubt many people look at calendars and notice but just thought I’d mention it.
Loved the show! Thanks!!! Always so helpful!
“Something to say?” Haha, that’s perfect! You are practicing what you preach by asking for feedback to this podcast. Now here’s my attempt to practice what you preach by asking a question. You suggest to be open and ask questions. This is good stuff…but what can I do with feedback like the following: During a recent conflict I asked for a loved one to explaining why they felt I offended them so badly. The feedback was, “…the things that have bothered me about you in the past I no longer remember any more, nor do I care…I don’t really see a resolve for the situation so it’s hard to address it. I don’t want things to get worse or make our relationship suffer because of it so I don’t want to address it either.” It was also expressed that the loved one wanted to disassociate from me and my family. Or when I’ve hurt someone I care about so badly that the feedback they give me is, “Don’t ever expect to hear from me again.” What do I do with this kind of seemingly hopeless and uninformative feedback?
Jo – My initial response to your comment is that sometimes we have to look a little more closely at what the feedback actually is. In the example you gave, it sounds to me like the feedback is something like, “Jo – my experience of you is that I can’t discuss these things with you without tipping things over or stoking the fire.” Remember also that this feedback is not necessarily about you – it is always about the experience of the person giving the feedback. Then, you get to look at what part of it is useful to you – “Hmmm… what is it about me that has you experiencing me that way?” In that case, all feedback can be useful and informative – it is just information. On another level altogether, we don’t get to control whether others want to engage with us in a conversation, or for that matter, whether they even choose to like us!
Another great episode. Feedback is information and information is as powerful as we let it be in our lives.